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Shouldering the Load It was the moments when the guilt on his shoulders dimmed the light behind his eyes. When all the weight of the world crashed over his head and there was nowhere to go but down. Deeper, darker, spiralling into a hell of his own design. The mornings when she woke up sore because shed slept next him all night long on the floor after hed collapsed there. After another innocent victim was lost. These were the moments when she realized how young she was, how little shed seen in comparison. How amazing it was that he still had the strength to get out of bed in the morning, to go on fighting in a world so unfair. How remarkabl
Through the VoidShe is haunted by one persistent ghost,
She searches her soul for what went so wrong;
Wishing for he who she misses the most,
Knowing she cant help but snap before long.
He runs from the dull ache inside his chest,
Hoping to escape from his pain filled past,
Asking himself if hed been cursd of blessd,
Saying hed always known it couldnt last.
Their days are dim, light sheathd in heavy black;
Neither prepard to admit their weakness,
Each silently praying for a way back;
Their self-denials; all but effectless.
Then a bright light shines through, a pathway clears;
Home Her hands rested at his neck, one thumb brushing against his jaw line. She was looking into his eyes intently with her head tilted to the left. That little half-smile that stopped his hearts beating in his chest lit up her whole face. She was whispering something so softly he couldnt hear it at all. Yet every feeling and every thought was conveyed. He could read the love in her eyes and see she was content in the tilt of her head and the curve of her lip. Their hearts were beating in perfect tandem. He had never felt so comfortable.
But then his eyes opened. He found himself alone in a cold bed. Surrounded in silence but for
Untitled Poem about BeliefI wanted to believe you
I needed to believe you
I had an obligation
But I couldnt
I didnt know how
I should have been giving you the benefit of the doubt
But I didnt
Then it hit me like a freight train
Youd always believed me
Youd even swallowed a few lies
So now its my turn
To have faith
To put my heart in the palm of your hand
And to believe you when you say you wont break it
You Almost Died Today You almost died today. You almost died and I have a wife. A wife who was relieved to see me alive while I was being eaten up inside because I needed to see you. I needed to see you to believe you hadnt died. So I went to your house. I went to your house so I could see you were still breathing. And you were. And I told you that you almost died so I wouldnt tell you how scared Id been. I kissed you with my words to stop myself from kissing you with my mouth. I told you I was happy you were alive to avoid telling you how much I love you. Then I left, I left so I wouldnt crack, so I wouldnt lose all control. And
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More